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1994-03-09
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44 lines
YOUR STARS
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YOUR STARS BY VERA SLUG
ARIES (March 21 - April 20) A loved one has a message for you. They
cannot stand you. Be careful of Greeks bearing wellies.
TAURUS (April 21 - May 21) Today will be the hilight of your week.
After waking up you'll discover a book devoted to your excretia.
GEMINI (May 22 - June 23) You have been having the best of both worlds
lately. Don't fall out with your brother or sister, especially if you
are Siamese.
CANCER (June 24 - July 23) You've got crabs. But don't worry, they've
got cancer.
LEO (July 24 - July 39) You're a very down to earth person, who knows
exactly what you're doing. So why are you reading this ?
LIBRA (January 9 - September 24) Your life is in the ballance today,
If you walk under a Juggernaut you'll die. If you refrain from this,
you can read this crap again tomorrow.
SCORPIO (September 25 - November 22) Beware of the sting in your own
tail.
SAGITTARIUS (November 23 - December 21) Cancelled due to lack of
interest.
CAPRICORNIUS (December 22 - January 20) Okay, the stars don't revolve
around the earht, but don't go on about it.
AQUARIUS (Liverpool 3 - Everton 1) For those of you who are still
labouring under the delusion that your age has dawned, It has to be
said that its nearly sundown.
PISCES (February 0 - January 33) With this Salmonella, amoebic
menangitis, russian radioactivity and assorted pollution about, you'll
be lucky to last the week